I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
