At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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