youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My bed smells like the plague
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
