I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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