i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
