508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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