Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
