At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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