i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
