the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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