I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
