I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
