Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
