This girl is more easily done than said...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I intend to get homeless drunk
bring money and cleavage
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
