They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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