Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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