There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
