I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
