Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
