In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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