very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
