need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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