Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
