Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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