He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
