Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
