sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
