First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You've changed since you got that strap on
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
