it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
