When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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