She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize