Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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