soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
