ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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