I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
