Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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