i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
