I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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