She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
