A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
