dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
