something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
