My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
