Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dicks are not precious.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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