i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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