TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The adults are the big ones right?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
