I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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