Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
