TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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