ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
