I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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